Do You Need a Friendship Time Out?

Friendships can be as enjoyable or as taxing as any romantic relationship. If you look at your phone when your home girl calls and you roll your eyes, you may need a friendship time out or a friendship break.

…I’m not talking about your boo who you call your “friend” …I mean your homegirl…maybe even your bestie. Yep, that BFF might need to give you a few weeks, months or even forever.

Possibly your friend has said something that you simply cannot agree with, maybe they are in a really toxic time in their lives and their negativity makes you feel tired. Maybe there isn’t anything WRONG with you or your friend but you just need some quiet time for introspective thought.

No matter the reason for the Friendship Time Out, if you need “friend space,” then space is important. As a Pisces who expects people to read my mind I have had to grow and communicate how I feel even if it doesn’t make people feel good. I have taken my bestie and other friends through some tough times as I have taken Friendship Time Outs without telling anybody and it was not positive in our friendship experience.

Here are some ways to have a Positive Friendship Time Out:

1. Communicate it out.

There is nothing more powerful in ANY type of relationship than communication AND the effort to communicate. Although people say, “Just be honest,” it isn’t always that simple, but if you are real friends it must be done.

Do Not Communicate the need for a break via:

-Phone Message
-Text Message

Do Communicate the need for a break:

-In Person
-During a phone call that is not rushed


2. Tell them WHY you need the break in the most sensitive way possible.

“Girl, I just need some time to think about some things. Can you just give me a week or two to get it together?”

“I need some time to internalize this conversation, girl. Before I say something that gets in the way of our sisterhood, let me get my mind right.”

“I’m dealing with some personal things that have nothing to do with you, but I just need some head space. Do you mind if we just have a little friendship time apart.”

While this sounds a little silly as you read it, when you are talking to your GIRL, she will understand and may or may not ask you to elaborate. Remember, that this is your friend and your conversation about the Friendship Time Out is so that you will retain your friendship not throw shade. So allow yourself to be vulnerable and be as loving as possible…this is your friend.

3. Let them know that there is a time frame on it.

You are not UNfriending them. You are not running away from a conversation or situation. You just need some time to think.

Asking your homegirl for space can sometimes be more of an emotional conversation than having it with your man. Both are relationships and relationships take work and effective conversation.

4. Reassure them that if they need you…

Reassure your friend that if the DO need you that you will be there. Reassurance and Real Love are the most important pieces of taking a Friendship Time Out.

How do you take emotional breaks from your friends?

Sharelle D. Lowery is THE Classy, Black Girl.

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Sharelle D. Lowery is Classy and She likes Brunch. From Super Socialite to Super Mom!!...Classy, Black Girl.