The Painful Unfollow – Why I Dont do Social Media with my Man
I was watching a wonderful Sunday afternoon installment of Sex and the City and on my Ipad pops this funny article,
“Miley Cyrus unfollows fiance Liam Hemsworth on Twitter…”
Unfollows can hurt
I kinda chuckled and then I thought about how stunned and crushed I was when my boyfriend, Marcus, unfriended me on Myspace. Okay, I was more than crushed, I cried….hard too. I mean, I was an internet SuperStar, I always got lots of likes on my photos(or whatever we did on MySpace)…I was the hotness. Why did he unfollow me? Well needless to say it was because he was doing the most and cheating was putting it mildly.
Facebook kills relationships
Fast forwarding almost a decade, as a rule I almost never date men that I meet on Social Media. People have unfair expectations of who I should be and I also find myself slightly stalking him as well. Social media is great for business, outstanding for staying in contact with people that you don’t see often and it’s great to find out what other people think of products that you might like. It’s a bad place for a budding relationship. You spy, he spies. Even if he says that he doesn’t…he does. Especially the pictures.
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Unsocial from the start
If you want to be in a good and healthy relationship, DO NOT start connecting on Social Media. If you met on Social Media and you want to get to know this person, do it without the pressure of Social Media. Agree to unfriend each other. You dont want to find yourself thinking that maybe you should NOT tweet a photo because he might get angry or you do not want to be motivated to Instagram a photo for them or a Passive Aggressive #TextQuote. It’s just ugly.
Relationships are difficult enough with just getting to know somebody, possibly meeting their friends and family and then getting past your own issues without creating new ones from the internet. Unfollowing or Blocking somebody from Social Media is the same as deleting a phone number from your phone, but its worse because its obvious to the other person, and anybody else who is nosy enough to care.
Get to know each other in real life
I refuse to follow my man du jour online because I don’t like to see girls flirting with him or liking his handsome pictures or saying ridiculous stuff to my man like #ILoveALongHashtag(yes that really happened to me). But I also dont like him to see the reverse with me. I don’t need to tweet my man…we talk. If you allow Facebook to be the other woman, I can almost promise you that she WILL be a factor in ending a potentially good relationship before it even has a chance to begin.