Relationships are not easy. A good relationship requires time, effort and a whole lot of understanding. One of the craziest spins on creating long lasting bonds is distance. The long distance relationship is not an ideal relationship for anyone. However, it can work. When both parties want to grow together with a singular goal of being together it can be an opportunity for growth that allows you to get to know the other person better, because you spend most of your time talking, texting and communicating in a non-physical way. You become friends, that will also help the two of you figure out if a long term relationship, like marriage, is the right direction for both of you.
Here are 10 Tips on Making Your Long Distance Relationship Work!
1. Talk regularly.
Communication is the big killer or developer of any relationship! You cannot call your babe up and set up a big dinner for him or grab a cup of quick coffee…so communicate often. I recommend daily, but it’s whatever works for you as a couple.
2. Send pictures.
I love to send pictures and videos! They are so important to making the other person feel good and a part of your life, even when they are not right there. Try to be consistent as well.
3. Set Up Dates to Spend IRL time together.
IRL = In Real Life. So since you cannot spend time together like a couple who lives in the same city, you can schedule times to be together. Try to make these trips as lengthy as you can afford and make sure that you keep the dates. Breaking them, barring an emergency, breaks relationship covenants. Also, more than 90 Days away from your Boo…is just way too long. Make sure that you all spend time together at least every 90 days.
4. Chat about how you are feeling-regularly.
Have regular “Come to Jesus” talks. Make sure that mentally that you are both in the same place, with the same goal in mind. It is not always easy to have these talks, but they can help keep you relationship and your life on track.
5. Use Couple
Couple is an app that I actually like and that can help two people really build closer ties. It’s like a personal facebook for two people, I really like it! You have to be creative if you are not together.
6. Stay Away From Social Media.
I work on Social Media with a heavy male audience. The last thing that I want is for a man that I care about to follow me online and see all of the oversexualized comments that men may leave that I cannot and do not have time to delete. For women, being the investigators that we are, this can be really difficult, reading “INTO” other peoples comments. Almost as a rule, you should employ “my babe and I talk, we don’t need to Tweet each other.” However, a healthy respect online is also necessary. Over sexy or suggestive photos are not cool, and the mind can wander. Do not let something as silly as Facebook kill a “good thing!”
7. Have an end point to the Long Distance Relationship.
Long distance is tough, once you decide to be in a relationship, you also need to figure out what the end goal is and when too much is too much. More than a year of not living in the same city may be all that I could ever handle, some people can go two years. However, more than that just lends to temptation and boredom that most people cannot maintain.
8. Realize that you have to be more vulnerable and trust more than you ever thought that you could.
Trust is King in a long distance relationship because frankly, that is all that you have. You have to trust that your significant other is not getting down with somebody a little closer, hence the regular communication, pictures and the 90 day rule! But you must trust that they are in the same place as you are-emotionally.
9. Use FaceTime or Skype!
Do this regularly and spontaneously and set up actual dates. There is nothing sweeter than getting a FaceTime call while you are shopping.*smile* I know that it might sound crazy, but get dressed up, do your hair and even pour yourself a glass of wine to get the “date night” mood going. Anytime that I have ever done that in the midst of a long distance relationship-it always spiced things up! It may even get a little sexier if your into that.*wink*
10. Be Honest.
If you feel like its not working out for you, tell the other party. One of the fears that you can have is that the other person “just won’t pick up,” especially if they are in another country. I mean it can happen. Be respectful enough of the other persons feelings to let them know if you would rather not be a part of this long distance relationship anymore. Remember, what you do will ALWAYS come back to you.
Another quick tip BE PRESENT when you ARE communicating. Do not check text messages, email or even watch television when you are spending quality time with your long distance boo. It is a good practice anyway, but on top of that you really hear what the other person is saying, feeling and meaning.
Happy Loving Long Distance!
If you have any long distance relationship tips, share them here and let other long distance lovers benefit from your knowledge and experience!